Taken Down

I wanted to send this to you but i'm afraid that it will spoil everything. Afraid that you cant't happily hang out with your friend or text nicely with me. But it doesn't feel good to just keep it to myself.

I actually told my friend to meet tomorrow as you said you were going to bring me to fix my laptop today. Makes me happy for nothing. This isn't the first time you're doing something like that. And the worst part is it seemed like you've forgotten all about it. I thought you were busy and i didn't want to disturb you but you were actually out with your friend leaving me here alone. And taking so long to reply my texts and such. It's so disappointing.

I really wished you would be more sensitive towards my feelings and not have me on standby like that..

Change

Decided to create a blog so maybe i can just rant here next time. So, we quarreled again and i actually let you go. Since you seemed busy and there's so many calls and texts, i might as well let you go home. And you raised your voice at me again. :/ I didn't like it. Somehow it's so hurting cause i feel neglected, you don't know and you said i attitude you again. I just wanted more attention.

I have been trying to be understanding to you, that you need to work and you can't always be here for me. I don't mind that your phone is always calling for you and that we have to actually stop doing what we are doing just so you can answer your calls. But then again, i'm human i will feel neglected and such. And i just hope you would give me a hug after your calls. Sometimes you did and i was really happy but when you don't it's kinda sad.

And just now in the car, i was hoping you would hold my hand or something just like how you used to. How you would get angry when i don't hold you and give you the attention you wanted. And i have to admit how i miss the time when you wanted me to hug you and all. I guessed it's because things are changing for us.

Sometimes, it can be quite sweet to wait for your replies while you were working or going to school alone just so you can sleep longer. Although i have to admit that sometimes it kinda bothered me and i can't help but to think you don't care as much anymore but still, i chose to believe it's not because of that.

And baby, i really enjoyed the times with you these few days. That day at orchard when we were so opened! Never had i been so open with any of my ex, loved hugging you so much. You're just so different. And last night we actually didn't quarrel over the laptop incident, but rather we talked things out nicely and you apologized and i found myself thinking from your point. Reminds me of what my mom said about me treating you differently.

I know i'm not a good girlfriend to you and i always have so much things that i wanted you to help me with. And that i can't control my temper and such. But every time, i just wished you would care about me more. Sometimes, i wonder if i should continue being with you like what people always say, to love is to let go. 

I hate how things ended today and tomorrow i might not be able to meet you sighs. But we can't get back the time anyway. I will just hope that you will continue to be loving and sweet and you wouldn't change heart. And i really hope things will be fine for us very very soon. And right now, i'm still waiting for your texts. T^T Goodnight my love.